Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
