we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
