Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
