no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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