I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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