it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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