We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
