this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
