summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
