Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
