My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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