I must be too annoying 4 u.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
