idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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