South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
