Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
