So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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