i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
