Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
