My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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