oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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