I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
