You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
