I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize