I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
