You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
