Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
