we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
