We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
