3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
