im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
