I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
