Where is the hickey?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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