She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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