Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
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