recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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