it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
