People with herpes should wear stickers.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
