Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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