There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
