Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
is it fun? or sober?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
