I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
