She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
