i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
