sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
