I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
