i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
