apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
