I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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