Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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