we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
