Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
