omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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