my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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