I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
