I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
