I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
