I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
