I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
